This is sorta Friday for a lot of people in the good old US of A so I'm putting up this week's interview today! Today I chat with a writer, comedian and producer living in New York City who currently writes and blogs for LateNightWithJimmyFallon.com. He is the creator/producer and host of the New York City cult hit show, The Rejection Show and many other popular live events. Jon's first book, "Rejected: Tales of the Failed Dumped & Canceled", a humor anthology of rejected works was released this year. His humor writings have been featured in McSweeney's, The Huffington Post, Pindeldyboz, Paper Magazine, and and many other places. As an actor Jon has appeared on Law and Order SVU (crossing the street). In addition to appearing on NPR many times, Jon's works have been featured in the LA Times, The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, The New Yorker, The Onion, and many others.

What's your average day like at your day job?
The job is still somewhat new (about 6 months) working for a brand new show (Late Night with Jimmy Fallon) so there's not really an average day yet, especially because we as a staff are putting on a brand new show every single day, so there are new surprises almost every day. We're all also getting used to each other as a new staff and working towards getting in to routines. It's a great group of people that work there. A typical day for the blog (what I primarily work on) consists of three bloggers posting 12 - 15 times per day balancing out pop culture, funny videos, news, pictures, clips/highlights from the previous night's show, sneak peeks for what's coming up and some behind the scenes footage and pictures.

Are you strictly a blogger for Fallon's show or have you been able to write bits that make it on-air?
My primary job here is as a blogger and when I am working for someone else (as opposed to my own projects where I am the "boss") I want to focus on delivering what they want in the best way possible, but I also occasionally contribute to the monologue, work with the segment producers in researching guests and help to brainstorm "activities" for Jimmy to do with guests (ie. activities like beer pong with Betty White) and I occasionally have popped up on the show here and there, usually is an extra or a tiny, tiny part in a sketch. It's a well-rounded job that I'm enjoying and for the most part, everyone is open to helping each other out and listening to each other's ideas.

For The Rejection Show what's the difference between a piece that's got humor/interest in its being rejected, and it just being rejected because it wasn't good enough?
Basically, the pieces (or segments) on The Rejection Show are really good, entertaining and funny and leave us wondering, "How could that have been rejected?" or is material that is so bad it's good presented by the writer/creator in a "what was I thinking?" sort of way. It's all of the material that is in between (not quite good enough and not quite bad enough) that is usually left off of the show.

I know that sometimes the show deals with personal, romantic rejection. Do you know whether the Rejection Show has brought two previously rejected people together?
I can't say for sure that the show itself is responsible for bringing two rejected people together in the long term, but people have told me many times that they have come to the show on a date and most often on a first date. It's a great activity to do on a first date because you're with a crowd of people and it's usually funny, fun, insightful, unique and live and can lead to discussion after the show. I also put on The Rejection Show Valentine's Day Heartbreak Haven every Valentine's Day which is designed for people who are single, feeling alone, rejected, don't have a date or don't like traditional Valentine's Day routines. I've seen people making out at it so I guess that's a perfect example of bringing previously rejected people together.

How do you reject people who apply to be in the show (or who applied to be in the book?)
If someone has put in a real effort to be on the show (coming to see the show first, mapping out their ideas, providing me with footage and examples, etc.) I usually will not reject them from being on the show. However, sometimes people do put in the full effort to be on the show and what they have still is not right for it. In that case I will work with the person directly to find creative ways to help shape their segment to be a better fit for the show. When I do have to reject people (from being on a show of rejected material) I explain to them that it is a monthly showcase with various specific slots to fill on each show (ie. film, literary, romance, animation, sketch comedy, etc.) and I may be getting too much of one specific category. For the most part, I do keep everyone in mind because I am always trying to expand my rejection projects, most recently with my first book Rejected Tales of the Failed Dumped and Canceled and very soon at rejectionshow.com where I will display people's rejected material on the web. The live version of The Rejection Show is not a reading series (it is sometimes listed that way) and I rarely allow people to come on the show and just stand there and read. However, because of the amount of rejected literary pieces I was getting it allowed me to put together the proposal for the book, so I like to think that when it comes to displaying rejected material, eventually it will all get "put on display" in some way, whether it be on the show, in a book (in future volumes of books), or on the web.

Has your exploration of rejection changed how you handle it yourself?
It absolutely has. Doing The Rejection Show has given me a creative outlet to display my own rejected material every month. I open each show with my own rejected material/stories that I encountered since the last show. Having an outlet like that makes taking risks and not worrying so much about failing or someone else telling you that you're not good enough that much easier. The Rejection Show is my safety net. My hopes for the project overall would be for The Rejection Show to be everyone's safety net. If you're rejected, you have a place to still go and share with others your own work that you are proud of or an outlet to share "where you went wrong" in a fun supportive environment. Don't get me wrong, I still hate being rejected, especially when it comes to the more personal/romance side of it but I've learned that approaching your work and life in a way that allows you to take more risks and not be afraid to fail is the key to finding acceptance.

What are your favorite readings/shows to attend, other than your own?
It's hard to say specifically which my favorites are because the scene changes so quickly (it wasn't like that when I started about 6 years ago), people come and go, venues come and go, new shows appear and disappear. This might sound a little obvious but I like shows that are done well where you can tell that the people behind them care about what they are doing and have taken the time to make sure they are putting together the best show possible. There are still a lot of those out there (and a lot that are not) with amazing talent here in NYC and most of them can be seen for $5 or less.

What's the last thing you were rejected from or had rejected?
I most often feel the sense of rejection when certain opportunities or jobs have passed by before I was even aware of them that I know I am fully capable of doing and doing well. Not having a chance to show what I can do is when I feel that sting of disappointment. I occasionally get asked to go on auditions, for smaller parts in a TV show or a commercial and I am no good in auditions. I am too aware of my surroundings and have trouble showing what I can do. But because of that, I know that I deserve to be rejected. That is something I need to work on. My most recent major rejection was when I was already hired for a job and was let go after the first day. I got hired to do the voice over work for a series of commercials for an entire show's run on VH1. The director of the commercials loved my voice and was the one who hired me but after my first day of recordings, the producers of the show heard my voice and said I sounded too nerdy and too young and I was let go. I thought it was going to be the start of my voice over career but so far it seems to have ended before it began.

Which were some of your personal favorite contributions to the Rejected book?
Again, it is so hard to choose a favorite. As the editor of the book I stand by each and every piece that is in there. They were all carefully specifically chosen for many different reasons. I also wanted to construct a book where people's favorites vary from person to person and where your own favorite can vary with multiple readings. For the most part, from the feedback I have received I have found that to be true. I even have a few favorites that were left out of the book but had to be left out for those same many varied reasons. I was thrilled to have David Wain send me rejected sketches from MTV's The State and to have Kevin McDonald from The Kids in the Hall recount a story of when the early incarnations of the popular sketch group bombed on stage. I was delighted to read about Tom McCaffrey's Pseudo Phone Sex call with a Comedy Central Executive, I loved reading Adrianne Frost's personal encounter and rejection from Kevin Spacey...see I could just keep going on listing everything in the book. I was most surprised by how many quality pieces I received from people I have never met. There are a handful of those in the book as well.

I'd like to learn more about the Delicious Sandwich Social. What was the best part of it? What would you do differently?
The best part of The Delicious Sandwich Social, (an event where people bring a full sandwich and trade one half of their sandwich for someone else's other half) has been the attention and enthusiasm it has received. It went as far as someone in Sydney Australia writing to me and asking my permission to do a Sydney Sandwich Social (I said yes) and a singer/songwriter sent me an .mp3 of a song she wrote inspired by The Delicious Sandwich Social. The past two years I've shared the event with the women from the popular cupcake blog Cupcakes Take the Cake. So not only do the people that come get a new half of a sandwich they also get to have a bunch of amazing cupcakes. I guess what I'd do differently is have more help in putting it all together to provide more entertainment and have the whole thing be more organized overall. This year I'd actually like to get a permit and have it take place in a park with actual picnic tables and maybe even some live music.

Do you have any future book projects in the works?
I do yes, but they are as of now unofficially in the works because I am still in the zone of focusing on drawing attention to Rejected: Tales of the Failed Dumped & Canceled. Of course I would love to do more volumes of Rejected. Having done this first one, I know now what it takes to actually put together a book like this (it is a lot of work!) but having done it once I know I can make future volumes even better (much like the progression of The Rejection Show). I already have a ton of material ready and waiting to go and writers, artists and comedians ready to send me more material. I would also like to do a book of my own humor writing, which there really isn't any of in Rejected and I have other unique book ideas that I am formulating that I don't want to reveal at this time. But please, stay tuned.

What's so great about Brooklyn? We people who are not from New York would like to know.
To me, Brooklyn is the best. I have a full-fledged love affair with Brooklyn. As someone who grew up in the suburbs and went to school and works in Manhattan, Brooklyn gives you the best of both of those worlds. It's not quite the major city that Manhattan is (but it is still a "city") and it's not quite the suburbs but has that neighborhood sort of feel that you can find in the suburbs while still having an energy to it. In Brooklyn we have accessible rooftops with great views of Manhattan and backyards and gardens and trees and air. We have full use of the subway and buses and can get in to Manhattan very quickly. It's nice to be in Manhattan but it's also nice to step outside of it when not working and be able to see the sky and hear leaves blowing on a tree. My favorite thing about Brooklyn has to be Prospect Park. While in there I feel like I can be almost anywhere. It's a beautiful place, a very therapeutic and valuable thing to have so close by.

Do you have any delightful stories from your time interning at Comedy Central?
I wouldn't say I have delightful stories from being an intern at Comedy Central but it was a great place to work. I loved interning for them and then working for them. It was always great and exciting to go there everyday at a much younger age. I credit my time interning there with sparking a major portion of the idea for launching The Rejection Show. A big part of my job was to go through all of the unsolicited material that Comedy Central received and send it back with a rejection letter. I had so much fun going through all of that material for so many reasons. It was fun to see what people thought would get on the air, some of it was so bad that it was enormously entertaining and some of it was really good but never had the chance to get in to the right hands. Overall, it was a great environment to be in, to see in a small slice, how things work.

What's the hardest part about being a producer?
Right now I'd say the hardest part (or most stressful part) is making sure people are aware of the shows I am putting on, while at the same time trying not to be too obnoxious in letting people know about them. There's a fine balance in doing the promotion of a show. After that I'd say the parts that stress me out the most are making sure everyone (the performers) are where they need to be and there when they need to be there (because I am also always, for the most part, hosting the shows that I produce) and what makes me pace around the most is making sure people stick to the amount of time that they are allotted for their segment. When that happens it is usually my fault, as the producer I need to make sure everything times out correctly, especially the way the venues are run today where they have one show stacked up on top of the other, as one show ends the next show is practically beginning making it somewhat stressful.

What have been some of your most fulfilling moments as a producer?
The continued support and turn out for The Rejection Show after doing it for nearly 6 years and the continued enthusiasm from the audiences that come out to see it as well as the performers that are on it. Often people take away more than just seeing a comedy show when they come see The Rejection Show, that combined with the show continuing to adapt and use rejected material in new ways has been extremely fulfilling. I've had people tell me that after seeing the show they dug up some of their old material that someone else told them wasn't good enough and gained a new confidence in it by seeing others displaying their turned down material. In some cases they polished and reworked what they had and went on to find acceptance. I can't ask for anything more fulfilling than that.

How does it feel to be the 238th person interviewed for Zulkey.com?
It honestly does feel very cool to be included in an interview for Zulkey.com. I have admired you and your site from afar for some time now so I'm genuinely thrilled to have been asked to be a part of it.

So, yes, I lied to everyone. But so what? Who hasn't pretended that they were hiking the Applachian trail when they were off having an affair in South America? Can you honestly claim you haven't? And who among you hasn't stolen a paper clip, made a personal call, left the office to have said tryst without telling a single soul?

After I was forced to face the "real world" (AKA my boner-killer of a wife), I knew I had to end this. To prove to myself that I was serious, my beloved and I had a farewell meeting in New York chaperoned by a spiritual adviser. Now I know you'll be with me here. Nothing ever can go wrong with "farewell meetings" with forbidden loves. You bid farewell, you shut the door and you go right back to your wife. Your cold, white, non-soul-mate wife. Farewell meetings are practically legally binding in terms of proving to yourself and the world that your affair is OVER. Plus, my spiritual adviser was there! What's his name? Uhh...err...I think there are confidentiality laws that protect me from having to reveal that. What religion was he? Christian. Or Christian-ish. What did he do while he was there? He bought us condoms, that's what.

Did I mention that my beloved Argentinian hottie is my soul mate? Come on, people, I know you eat that shit up. Soul mate! Come on! Why aren't you falling in love with me yet? Look how sensitive I am! I don't get why you aren't all hugging me. In the movies and in magazines, people love it when men believe in soul mates. And yet you're just staring at me in judgment. Maybe you're just jealous because you haven't experienced the kind of love I have.

Look, I know my wife is not my soul mate but I understand how the public feels, blah blah blah, so I will try to force myself to look at her and not dream of the person I really want to be with. I don't want to blow up 20 years that we've invested. I don't want to ruin my kids' lives (I mean I have, but I don't want to.) But if I'm completely honest, there are still feelings in the way. Come on, I know you understand. Don't you love how honest and human I am? Don't you think I should still be governor? Don't you think in 2012 someone with such emotional aptitude should even be a presidential prospect?

So anyway, yes, I am working on falling back in love with my wife. Reluctantly. I'm still in love with my Argentinian queen (the world loves a man in love, right?) It's hard! Come on, you all have done things you don't want to do before, like pay taxes and love your spouse. And my bitch wife isn't making it any easier. Forget about taking tango lessons with me: she won't even look at me. I keep telling her "You acting like this isn't going to make me fall back in love with you and out of love with you-know-who any faster" but for some reason that doesn't help.

If you want me to keep talking, I will. I admit there have been other women. They meant nothing to me. They meant less to me than my life and obviously less to me than my Argentinian lover. Look, I'm just getting it all out there because confession=forgiveness, right?

So, I think this was a good idea. Now that I've explained myself, I think we can move forward. Oh, and also, I hate children, I killed someone once and I'm gay.

A few weeks ago we watched "Blood Simple," a movie Steve said is amazing. We had to get up early the next morning for a 5K so I asked (since we'd be finishing it right before bedtime) if there was any disturbing material in the movie that would give me bad dreams and he answered, definitively, no. Well, I don't want to spoil the movie for you but let me just say that not only was there disturbing material in the movie, like three of the scariest kinds of disturbing material were in it. I was mad at him for "forgetting" about all of this. Here are equivalent movies that he could have forgotten about any gory/upsetting material from:

"JAWS"

"The Exorcist"

"Kill Bill"

"Dead Alive"

Any of the "Saw" movies

"Sin City"

The scene in "Pee Wee's Big Adventure" where he's in the truck with Large Marge

"Ol' Yeller"

I'm too lazy to track down your numbers myself though so can you please email me your cell phone number, address, birthday, clothing and shoe size and what types of food you don't like?

I'm not sure which of the people in my email list I actually want to have in my phone and which I don't really, so it's possible that I won't actually want your number in my phone. Don't be mad at me if, next time I see you, you ask to see my cool new phone (I wouldn't blame you) and you don't find your number in there, although I doubt you'd even be able to figure out how the address book works since it's that rad and complicated.

While I have you on this email, I'd like to announce that I'm having a 4th of July barbecue, and since I can't remember the password to my Evite account, I'm letting you all know here. Again, though, I don't have time to go through this entire address book and sort out who I really want to come from who I don't, but if you've made the transition from the old, bad cell phone into the new, good cell phone then you're on the list. Just please send me your contact information and then day of the party, follow-up with me to see if you're invited to the party. If you are, can you please bring one of the following: beer, wine, pig, knives, barbecue, plates, watermelon, cupcakes, sparklers, iPod stereo dock? Don't worry about the tunes: I can play those from my new iPhone (I don't mean to brag).

Finally, I am changing my email address as of today. From now on my address will be exactly the same except instead of claire.zulkey@gmail.com it will actually be clairedotzulkeyat@gmail.com. Isn't that clever? Please, though, if you have gmail, do not add me to your chat buddy list unless you ask me first. You'll have two hours to request after this email is sent and then I will disable my old email address. Any unsolicited invitations to chat will be REJECTED and you will definitely NOT be in my new iPhone and you will not be invited to the party, or at the very least you can come but you cannot eat or drink anything.

Whew! Sorry for the mass email!

Today I chat with the members of Kasper Hauser, a San Francisco-based comedy group consisting of Dan Klein, James Reichmuth, John Reichmuth, and Rob Baedeker. They perform and produce live shows, digital content, and books, which have included the hilarious SkyMaul, Weddings of the Times and Obama's Blackberry. The group's members have written for HBO digital and appeared on "All Things Considered, Comedy Central and "This American Life."

Do you recall which other names you came close to choosing for the group other than Kasper Hauser?
Here were some finalists:

Donkey Down!
Whither Go Bilbo
Gandalf Hitler
Wineskin
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Donkey
The African Bee Killers
Mostly Hobbits

We think the observant reader will see a theme.

Who are some of your other favorite feral children?
Overwhelmingly, we like the Karpfen Bear Girl, but we'd be lying if we said there weren't some fans of Clemens the Overdyke pig-child in the group.

Our least favorite? The Home Depot Gonad Slapper.

Do you have a schedule or routine for writing as a group?
We have a little office in San Francisco. It's a comedy office, so everything in there is funny: funny chairs, funny lightbulbs, clown shoes. We meet several times a week to open checks and fan mail and show each other our new cars. Before the success? 3-4 times a week for 3-4 hours. More if we had a book due or show coming up. For the books, we submit individual entries anonymously and then vote on them. We take the highest vote-getting pieces/scripts, then sit around a circular table and project the words from our computer screen on a wall and have comedy arguments that usually end in pillow fights.

Who are some other contemporary comedy groups whose work you enjoy?
To optimize pretentiousness, we will divide our list into UK and US comedy groups/shows:

From the UK: Count Arthur Strong (Steve Delaney), Peter Serafinowicz and Robert Popper (of "Look Around You"); Smack the Pony, Big Train, Mighty Boosh, anything with Chris Morris or Steve Coogan (Brasseye and Alan Partridge especially). James and John were always huge "Young Ones" fans.

In the US: The Third Floor (Portland), Meat, TROOP, Derrick, Hard 'n Phirm, The State, Tim and Eric.

What are some topics you've considered parodying either in print or performance but you couldn't quite carry off?
We've talked about parodying an entire grocery store: every item and all the packaging and copy on it would be parody. Even the food inside would be a joke.

Can you tell me a secret about Jesse Thorn, preferably scurrilous?
I guess you'd have to ask one of his ex-wives, or maybe one of the guys from that Butoh-Porn group he started in the 70's.

What's something that made you laugh lately?
James: The elevator shots of Galifianakis at the end of The Hangover.

Rob: A video of a monkey taking a bubble bath [ed: I cannot guarantee that that is the particular video: that is just a video I found of a monkey taking a bubble bath.]

John: The funniest thing I have seen in a long time was our amazing improviser friend Gerri Lawlor doing a strip show as a whacked-out stripper named Putay. At one, point, she puts on dish gloves and asks in a thick accent: "who wants a sloppy joe??!?"

Dan: My 8-year-old son doing an imitation of James.

Of all the books you've put together, which have been some of the biggest challenges, either conceptually or technically?
Each book has posed a unique set of challenges.

SkyMaul was a complete bitch to design (for our designer-friend Vince), but we had artistic license to include just about anything we wanted.

With Weddings of the Times, we had to find living, breathing people who would legally consent to being in a book in which they would be mercilessly made fun of. We also had to keep up the variety in a book that is page after page of the same format. That's one reason whey we included the color insert section, which are really parodies of magazine-style features and ads.

Obama's Blackberry was written under extreme time pressure (one month?!), we also had to find our footing with a president who's comic persona is still inchoate and to stay away from hack premises like "Joe Biden is very long-winded."

How do you decide to perform your humor that's written, like SkyMaul or Weddings of the Times?
We actually started reading fake wedding announcements during shows, between sketches, years before pitching the concept as a book. In the case of SkyMaul, we found that it lent itself well to a narrative premise (that the CEO was stepping down and looking for a replacement). In all three books, we've been pleasantly surprised at how well the material from the books has done in front of live audiences, because it wasn't originally written for the stage.

Have you ever heard from representatives of the publications/shows you've parodied?
Yes. An executive from SkyMaul told a reporter that she thought the book was funny (But really, did she have a choice? Once they're confronted, they kind of have to play good sports). On the other hand, to contradict what we just said, Joe Biden's spokesman lectured us (via the Wall Street Journal) on what constitutes good parody.

Which of your books took the longest to write/put together?
SkyMaul probably took the longest to write and design, but Weddings was the longest process since it was timed for release during wedding season (so we were sitting around with a near-finished manuscript almost one year before the pub date, just eating Luna women's energy bars and looking at our watches/calendar). Obama's Blackberry was really quick: we wrote the book in about four weeks.

The following are questions for each one of you basted on a snippet, possibly outdated, of information that I received about your dayjobs. Dan, what are the best lessons for teaching comedy?
My best lesson for comedy is, "Don't try to be funny. Just do something. But if people laugh, do it again. And then stop doing it before they stop laughing."

Rob, what have been some of your favorite freelance assignments?
I was once sent to a luxury spa in Santa Barbara to try to pick up on single women on Valentine's Day. I failed at this assignment, and instead filed the story about how the resort filled me with existential dread.

Followup: are you related to the Baedeker field guide people?
The Baedeker travel guides? Yes, in a far-removed way. Unfortunately not in an "inheritance" kind of way.

James, are you ethically allowed to plumb your experiences as a psychiatrist for comedy?
My job profoundly affects what I bring to my comedy. But it's not an ethical issue: I would never incorporate specific scenarios, information or characters from my work life into the writing. But frankly, ethics is the easy part. It may not be unethical for a psychiatrist to wear a chipmunk costume onstage, but for his client sitting in the audience, I imagine it could be pretty interesting.

John, what's your favorite court-related TV show or movie?
I like to watch "The Wire" with a handgun in my lap. Nothing comes close.  But it's not really a court show.  I have watched "To Catch a Predator," just because I like to see inside the McMansions where they have the lemonade.

As a group, how would you handle it if, like with Lonely Island, Saturday Night Live offered you the chance to work with them but only part of you were allowed to appear on the show?
I would be OK with that if it were me. Otherwise, I'd be against it. *

*All four of us answered this way.

I read a quote from you that said sometimes when you write as a group you can get a little too far out there: what are some examples of stuff you've put onstage that fit this description?
Looking through the old notebook for possible names for the group, we found the lyrics to an a capella bluegrass song we did called "Peanut Butter's Poison" (with the chorus "Poison from the grave!"). Would that be a good example?

How does it feel to be the 234th (and 235th, 236th and 237th) person/s interviewed for Zulkey.com?
Mix of happy and sad. But depending on how you alphabetize us we may at least land on top of John Hodgman. So that's to look forward to.

My husband I got in the car, ready to face the big moment: we were going to hit 10,000 miles on our leased VW Sportwagen. I know, it's the kind of thing you only dream about, right?

We got gas, we headed on Lake Shore Drive. 99997...99998...99999....we decided to hold hands so we could really experience this together. 99999...Steve put his hand on the gearshift because he got tired. 99999....it was stop and go traffic, so it was getting a little excruciating. 99999....Steve put his/my hand down on his leg. 99999...an accident literally happened just outside my window but I couldn't look in case I missed this amazing changing of the guard. 99999....we started to wonder if maybe there was something broken with the odometer. 99999....I started pointing my finger at the odometer and going "Pew! pew! pew!" to see if maybe an imaginary bullet would make it turn over. I got tired of that. 99999....and finally! FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 10,000 miles! Yes!!! We cheered and Steve kissed my hand and then we continued in stop and go traffic. He marveled that we were two thousand or so miles under what our lease dictated and maybe we should take a little road trip this weekend, if we have time, maybe.

Then we reached my office and I got out of the car and got my dry cleaning.

Part of me feels I should just go back home and go to bed because the day is only going to be a letdown from here on out.

Also I wrote about So You Think You Can Dance last night.

"You so 2000 and Kate" (translation: in addition to being hopelessly behind the times, you have a stupid haircut, too many children and your husband doesn't want to be with you anymore, possibly due to your famewhoring ways)

"You so 20000 and Slate" (translation: in addition to falling out of touch, you are killing newspapers).

"You so 2000 and grate" (translation: in addition to being out of fashion, your cheese comes in a block and you must waste valuable time and energy if you want it in delicious melty sprinkle form.)

"You so 2000 and Crate" (translation: you're behind the times, and you shop at Crate and Barrel because you are too lazy and unoriginal to find unique housewares at small independent boutiques and antique shops).

"You so 2000 and lait" (translation: you are irrelevant, and your coffee has milk in it, because you are not hardcore enough to drink it black)

It brought me a lot of pleasure so I wanted to see if other paintings of Rottweilers did the same. I think the answer is clear:

Consequences: Spiteful recycling (by her)

Theme: Not cleaning up cat urine in a timely manner

Theme: Not using gym membership frequently enough

Consequences: Passive-aggressive reminders (from her)

Consequences: Constant bitching (from her)

Theme: Neverending bitchiness

Consequences: Retaliatory bitchiness (from him)

Theme: Reading for too long before bed.

Consequences: Complaining followed by protest-sleep (by him)

Theme: Complaining too much about doing laundry.

Consequences: Non-purposefully guilt-inducing laundry assistance (by her)

Theme: Not closing the pantry door all the way

Consequences: Murder (by him)

Theme: Wanting ice cream

Consequences: ice cream

I'm a little late coming to this but of course the scandale rocking the blogosphere lately is that of Beccah Beushausen, who started a blog, saying that she was giving birth to a child diagnosed as terminally ill in the womb. Lots of people, including anti-abortion activists, followed her avidly and even sent her donations.

This was all made up, however, and when she took a picture of herself and her "dead baby" that she "gave birth" to, people figured it out and she was exposed and people got mad.

What I don't understand is why Beccah decided to kill off her baby so soon. Was she really desperate for immediate attention and sympathy? Or was she just already sick of her fake baby? Because if she were smart, she could have dragged this fake kids' life out for a much longer time and made way more money off it and probably gotten a better book deal out of it down the line.

I'm not even going to touch the issue that this fake baby would have been born with special needs, although that is neatly how she had it set up, which would have been money in her moneybank. If she had just avoided posing with a dumb baby doll, she could have given birth to this baby and then blogged about all the difficulties of being a single Christian young mother raising her baby, and I'm sure the sympathy (and cashola) would have rolled in. And why stop there? I bet people would have offered donations for baby April's vaccinations, her preschool, her clothes (which Beccah could have just sold maybe to a resale shop), her books, her haircuts, her grade school, her school uniforms, and so on. You see where I'm going with this? Wouldn't you have loved to hear the story of baby April growing up into a surly teenager, learning how to drive, making her poor mother go insane with her insolence? I think it would be hilarious to blog about a fake kid's volleyball match and parent-teacher conferences and so on. I'm mad at Beccah for screwing up what could have been a much more lucrative and truly awful/wonderful hoax so early on. If she had just stuck with it she could have seen baby April straight through to college and maybe her own wedding.

I am a bad person and am not really that invested in the lives of strangers' babies (unless they are in an impoverished country where the parents would sooner eat a laptop than use it to write a blog about their baby) so I personally was more angry at Beccah for aborting (no pun intended) her Internet hoax so early than for any fakery. At the very least she could have tried to fight back and say how dare you say my dead baby looks like a doll you horrible monster and then rake in the sympathy points.

Ladies, if you're going to give birth to a fake baby online, do the right thing and see that baby off to college. Don't end its life and then when faced with the consequences remove your blog and Facebook and Twitter pages. That's the coward's way out.

Let's be honest. You don't want to mess with us. It is an extremely bad idea. We are kind of touchy about Hawaii being attacked.

But moreover, what is your problem? Quit being a jerk. Are you jealous that we like South Korea more? Here's a clue: they're much cooler than you.

So please do not fire a missile at us. Please just chill out and use your energy to do something nice, like make a cute energy-efficient car, or something. We just don't need this shit right now. Thank you.

I wrote about "So You think You Can Dance" last night, by the way.

Here are some of the experiences the shaman relays on his blog, though, which I can't guarantee on the Zulkey Vortex Experience:

There is a magical trail that winds through the Vortex Circles and near the first powerful circle you will find a beautiful green bush that stands seven feet high and six feet wide. I have become friends with this bush and every time I guide clients to this special place, I stop and give the bush a big hug and talk with it. I love this friendly bush--he represents openness to me. I always feel welcomed by his spirit. It's a male bush. How do I know this? It's what I do for a living! Trust me! Each time the bush says the same thing to me: "I'm very green!" When I hear him speak this phrase, a gentle warmth flows me. I feel myself smiling deep in my soul.

The Rock People are strong and solid. They have much wisdom they want to offer you if you are open to listening

When I saw that scene of the Red Rocks in Forrest Gump, I heard myself whispering, "That's my place, my place."

I had the pleasure to guide a very gifted chiropractor to The Vortex Circles, a new sedona vortex I discovered. As we crossed over a flat red rock plateau, something inside me said--"turn around!" I looked behind me and fifty feet in front of me I saw the air go hazy and vertical slit appear. Suddenly, an elephant walked out of the slit! I have seen many animal totems appear but never quite this way--it was if I saw the elephant come thru the veil between the worlds. I knew this was important event for my client and told him so.

We were walking down a narrow trail and suddenly I saw coming towards us a little race car driven by a little forest creature! Then another one right behind it! I trust my clairvoyance but this was really far out! So I relaxed and looked again--another race car and driver came barreling down the path, the driver whooping and hollering! These forest creatures looked like a cross between the Ewoks from Star Wars and Mag-wy, the good Gremlin. Still doubting this, I checked in with my guides and asked if I was seeing what I was seeing. They nodded, chuckling.

Cheap joke to finish off this cheap post--the fella who runs this site finishes off all his columns with the phrase "A Ho," which I think is what he spends all the monies from these tours on. Thank you, you're too kind! I'll be here all night.

(If that writing is too tiny for you, check out the details more in full here).

Today I chat with a guy who writes prolifically on topics in the area of money culture, consumption and advertising. He's the man behind the Consumed column in the New York Times Magazine, writes the Murketing blog, is the author of the book Buying In and works on many other projects including Unconsumption and keeping up his own site which lists even more things he's worked on.

Who are some of your favorite contemporary writers?
First, I would say all contributors to The New York Times Magazine. Second, all contributors to the soon-to-be-launched Significant Objects project.

Beyond that it's very hard to get specific because I am such a thorough fanboy of so many contemporary writers. I guess I can say that the most recent contemporary-ish novel I've read is The Road, by Cormac McCarthy. I know I am a few years late, but it was astonishing. I realize I am not taking a radical stance by expressing admiration of Cormac McCarthy, but a thorough rundown of contemporary writers I look up to would run to several thousand words.

Do you get a lot of free stuff sent to you for Consumed? What are some of the more unusual items you've received if so? What do you do with it?
Actually, I do not.

The Times has very strict (and smart) rules about keeping/accepting anything that could be construed as a "gift." So I actively discourage people from sending me stuff. If I need to see/handle something (Flip video camera, Chumby, etc.), I prefer to request it, and then return it. (Or in the case of something like Cheetos Giant, I'll just go buy a bag.) One thing I did keep -- because its value was low enough under TImes rules and it would have been absurd to return -- was some Brawndo samples. They sent two cans; I drank one, and the other is my fridge.

People do contact me a lot and *offer* an amazing amount of stuff, electronics, sneakers, whatever. I just politely decline. Although I am very explicit about this "don't send me stuff" policy, there are companies that still seem to think I'm sort of a Consumer Reports type who tests things, or that I'm like the cool-new-shit blogs (those are the people you should ask about free stuff -- some of those folks get tons of it), and often they will send products to my attention at The Times. For the most part I never even know about it. Every so often somebody figures out where I live and sends something to my house. This is a pain in the ass, because it means I have to take it to Goodwill, or mail it back.

One peculiar thing that made its way to my home was a sort of "gift basket" from a conglomerate. A variety of products were placed in an Easter basket, which was wrapped in cellophane. It was a a really weird mix of stuff -- snack foods, paper towels, condoms. I don't know what they were trying to communicate, but the feeling any reasonable person would get from it was: "Wow, these people own everything. How creepy."

Oh, and another amusing thing I got once was a cookie from Ecko (the clothing brand), with their rhino logo rendered in icing. I ate it.

I saw you mention the 3/50 project on your blog: which businesses would you spend your $150 on?
I try not to say anything that sounds like an endorsement but I suppose these three:
Back In The Day Bakery
Le Chai
Maldoror's Frame Shop (this one is really more relevant to E, my wife, but I do like the owners)

We probably spend $50/month at each of them anyway.

What blogs do you read every day?
All of them.

What's your favorite thing that you've bought lately (that's not an everyday necessity?)
The new Booker T album. (Or really, the MP3 version off Amazon.) If that doesn't count as a "thing" then I guess I would say noise-canceling headphones that I bought last year. I know that's not "lately," but I have a hard time rendering judgment on a purchase before at least six months have elapsed. For example we bought a new coffee maker a couple months ago, and loved it for a few weeks, until we realized all its flaws, and now I hate think it sucks, but we're stuck with it. But the headphones I love as much today as the first time I used them. Mostly I use them on airplanes; they are top notch.

Also I bought some Timberland shoes I really like, around six or nine months ago, but it looks they've been discontinued since I bought them. This is why I'm not a coolhunter and why the column is not based on my personal taste -- much of what I like is immediately shut down. That's been true ever since I got addicted to Welch's Orange drink as a kid.

Do you think there's a line between being conscious about the things we consume and overanalyzing it?
Of course. And I'm probably on the overanalyze side. But really most people, most of the time, buy fairly mindlessly. The think about maybe one purchase in twenty. The rest of the time they're on auto pilot. Not everybody, but most people.

I think most people would be happier in their consuming lives if they put a bit more thought into it. In the end, you're more likely to spend your money in ways that satisfy if you take the time to think about what matters and why, etc. etc.

You're a very prolific guy: do you have a writing schedule?
I have a slight bias for writing in the early part of the day. But I don't have a hard-and-fast schedule. Except that I work every day. It's pathetic.

What are some (not-breaking news) topics you're most tired of hearing about in the news? I'm thinking, on my end, anything Twitter-related for the moment.
What's Twitter?

Just kidding. That's a good example. In the mainstream press, I'm tired of the general vibe that anything related to the Internet is still somehow a novelty. As in: "Whoah, this dude got a book deal (or similar) based on his Web site (or his Twitter account, or his Youtube video or whatever)!! Can you believe it?" Or, "Some guy took this picture with his cameraphone! Can you believe it??" Of course we can believe it. It's happened a zillion times, the Internet is normal, mobile technology is normal, everyone is used to it, everybody gets it, and nobody is surprised anymore. I'm not saying don't cover these things, but stop acting like it's all some crazy new freak show.

Meanwhile, in the Web world, I've pretty much heard/seen enough about steampunk. And I don't need to see any more pictures of unlikely things made of Legos.

I feel like I should also be tired of Octomom. But I love the word "Octomom."

What are some of your favorite SNL fake commercials?
The best one is from the first season -- an ad spoofing twin-blade razors. It was for a fake three-blade razor, explained with the tagline, "Because you'll believe anything." And as you know, that turned out to be true. I believe we're currently at five-blade razors. That's almost twice as good as three.

I also loved Bad Idea Jeans. And Levi's Three-Legged Jeans. And probably some other ones that didn't involve jeans.

What are some of your favorite real ads?
Um. Anything with a puppy. I actually can't think of anything right now. I thought that Padma whatsername ad for the fast food place, where she makes out with a huge sloppy hamburger, that was pretty amazing. And those "sponsored by" videos on PBS where Chevron explains how it's saving the planet, those are always funny.

For Buying In, what were some of your most invaluable resources? It seems like it can be a slippery topic to pin down with certainty.
I tried, in Buying In, to draw on a variety of resources -- history, experts, psychological studies, etc. But I think the most important stuff was the actual reporting -- meaning that I went places, I showed up, I talked to actual human beings. Just people, people who don't have publicists -- or even blogs or Twitter accounts. (That's right, such people still exist!) I listened to what they said. I did my best to weave all of that together.

BUT, having said all that, I also tried not to project the idea of "certainty." I tried to offer enough of a structure for the reader to come to his or her own conclusions. The book is meant to be more of an informed framework for coming to your own answers, as opposed to a set of rules.

How does it feel to be the 233rd person interviewed for Zulkey.com?
I'm truly honored that you could only think of 232 other people worth interviewing before my name came up.

The small trend I'm noticing lately is people who think they're teaching animals a lesson but in fact are doing no such thing.

First, the big story in the local dog community was that a woman here thought her puppy was stolen from a dog beach but it was recently given back to her and it's assumed now that she just lost it, and in fact it wasn't stolen. I'm glad the story has a happy ending but this part makes no sense to me: "In the meantime [the owner] says she plans to ground Che for a week and not let him out of her sight. But she also said she would buy him a toy and some peanut butter, his favorite treat. "

Well, first of all, technically the owner should be grounded since she lost the dog. But a puppy wouldn't learn a lesson of any kind if you keep it at home and give it lots of love and attention and peanut butter and toys. Frankly I wouldn't mind staying at home getting lots of love and attention and peanut butter and toys.

Second, so my in-laws now have 11 cats WHICH I AM NOT JUDGING IN ANY WAY. But in addition to these 11 cats they also regularly feed and pay attention to various outdoor cats. I kind of think that these outdoor cats are also basically their cats, since they have named the cats and feed them regularly and so on. But since the indoor cat total has now reached the double-digits, my mom-in-law has decided to bring the hammer down, like, for real. As she noted in an email, "We cannot take in any more, so will have to use tough love on the outside cats--leaving them to the outside world, but feed them as they show up. "

Here again is where I don't think the animal is going to get the picture. An outdoor cat is not going to think "Hmm. ALL these people are doing is feeding me when I show up, regularly and reliably. Yet...I sense a growing distance. Is it possible that while sustaining me on a regular basis, these people aren't giving me all the love and devotion that I, a cat, require? This is so embarrassing. I think I'll just save my dignity and go find food somewhere else so I don't look desperate."

These people should just quietly give up, like my parents. Why try to train your animal not to sleep on the couch when you can just put a sheet on the couch forever and be done with it?