FIRST PERSON

AV Club:

"Better Late Than Never? It's a Wonderful Life"

The Awl:

" Understudies! Don't Cry For My Dad, Argentina"

"The Rich Are Different: They Eat More Money"

The Black Table:

"A Super Waste Of Time? A Super Fun Thing To Watch? Five Women Wax Off On The Super Bowl"
"In Celebration Of This Fine, Fine Day, Five Women Weigh In On What They Really Want For Valentine's Day -- Hard Liquor."
" Springtime For Boobies! Our Panel Of Ladies Waxes Off On Breasts."
"Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. They're Hot For Teacher! Insert Solo Here."
" These Ladies Don't Fear The Reaper: Girls On Death."
"Our Ladies Reveal Their New Year's Resolutions -- For 2005."
"Rooting For The Underdog: Women Wax Off On The Normal Guys Who Make 'Em Wild."
"Leap Year: The Ladies Wax Off About What To Do With That Blasted Extra Day".
"Springtime For Shithead: What Women Wish You'd Wear."
"It's A Good Thing: Turn Offs That Turn The Ladies On."
"Hot Town Summer In The Shitty: Girls On The Sunny Season."

Chicago Tribune:

"If You're Kissing, Don't Tell, Especially When You've Been Drinking."

Dezmin:

"Playing Like a Girl"

Flakmag:

"Muscle Mania"
"Queer Eye for the Straight Girl"
Review of Unemployment
September 11 Feature: "Memories and Memorials"
"September 11: My Generation"
"Snow in April."
Review of Childhood, "The Ugly Years"
"Amazing Sea-Monkeys"

The Frisky:

" Girl Talk: Babies Can Wait Until After My College Reunion"

Jezebel:

"Life is Unfair: Isn't it Refreshing to Admit That?"

Knotmag:

"Polite to the End, and Afterwards"
"Post-College Cathies"

Knowumsayin:

"Stupor Bowl"

McSweeneys:
Reviews of New Food: "Cherimoya" (scroll down about halfway for it)

Meomore:

"Fun Fun Fun"

Midnight Mind Magazine:

"In Praise of the Hangover" (this might be the worst scan of all time)

Mississippi Review:

"Blaming J.Lo" (in print only)

The Morning News:
The Macca Attack
Saturday Night Fever

Opium Magazine
"Torrefazione Peanut Butter Cookies"

Parenthetical Note

"On More Highly Evolved Teeth"

Professor Barnhardt's Journal:

"Words of Wisdom"
"Guilty Pleasures"
"Why I Write"

This is Grand:

"Unrequited Love in the Morning"

Tribune Media Services (things I wrote about college whilst in college):

"Go ahead do it: tell your parents you love them"
"Studying abroad provides more truths than cliches"

Two Note Solo:

"Beard"