November 10, 2005
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Today is the day to put on your cute new scarf.
Book By Its Cover Review: Having Crabby Fading Gay Icons
There are a lot of great things about Great Britain. I can't remember many of them because I haven't been there in a while (hint, hint, to whoever is in charge of setting those things up and paying for them.) But I think one of the best aspects of Britain is that you can always count on Elton John, George Michael and Boy George to say something wonderfully bitchy, solipsistic and a little out of touch:
The best, though, is when they start talking about each other. Elton John is commenting on Boy George's drug charge? Boy George is smirking over George Michael's building craziness? It's the best. It's like having little Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots to distract you from the real world, only in this case they're wearing makeup, have plastic surgery and are wearing toupees. And sometimes sing.
Clearly, the only actual career future for them is to publicly reconcile, to the relief of no one, and get together and release an album that no one will listen to. Then, after nobody buys the album, it will start again, with the singers accusing buyers of being homophobic, of each other of being washed up, and Britney Spears of being trashy.
We need more of this in America. Sure, we have plenty of idiotic celebrities to distract us from the everyday life, but something about a sniping, obsolete gay star who always attempts to say something outrageous in the hopes of getting in the news seems like a warm, cozy blanket we can all use to wrap around ourselves when we need it. I blame the fact that a.) we don't have too many out male gay musical stars and b.) the ones we do have aren't bitchy enough. Clearly, we just need the two Georges and "Elton" to emigrate here, for the good of the country.