October 29, 2003
permanent link

Today is the day to suppress that pukey feeling.

PREORDER MY BOOK!

Opium!

Please send in to me your failed Halloween costumes. If you need a refresher course on what I'm talking about, go here. Then write to me! I need these by tonight.

Rank: Sexy Halloween Costumes

  1. Sexy devil. Ooh! You're so bad! You've got a sweet side, but also a 'naughty' side. You've got what it takes to show people that it's okay to be 'bad' once in a while. And also, you look damn hot in that miniskirt and cute little devil ears. Downside: The Catholic Church is out to get you.
  2. Sexy angel. Aaw. You're so sweet. Look at you, in your cute miniskirt and cute little angel wings. You're a little saint. Or are you? You look a bit mischievous. Heaven must be missing an angel. Or is it? Downside: Constant fear of incurring God's wrath and being cast into hell.
  3. Sexy schoolgirl. Little miss innocent! That miniskirt, those kneesocks! Are you here to learn, or are you here to 'teach everybody a lesson'? With a flick of the braids, you can show them that you, like Britney Spears, are not so innocent. Downside: All that homework.
  4. Sexy cowgirl. Ride 'em! Hey partner, where did you find those awesome boots and hat to go with your denim miniskirt? You've got country charm and rural roughness, but there could be that one guy out there to tame you. You're used to breaking wild horses...but that's not the only wild thing you like! Downside: Horse placenta on your hands after delivering a colt.
  5. Sexy kitty. Hot bodysuit (or miniskirt?) Adorable cat ears. Shake that tail, sister. Mee-ow! You've got 'cattitude'! Downside: If you really want to be in costume, you have to defecate in a box in the laundry room.
  6. Sexy Don Zimmer. Nobody's taking you down, in your scintillating bald cap, titillating big fat stomach, hot baseball cleats. You are the MVP of sexiness! Downside: Being taken down by Sexy Pedro Martinez.

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All original work on this site is copyright 2002-03, Claire Zulkey