September 20,
2004
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Today is the day to punch yourself in the face.
I'm excited now because in a little over a month, I'm going to be visited by my friend Liz. There is something different about Liz now than the last time I saw her and it's this: She's a Notary Public. Can you believe it? That little ole me knows a Notary Public? I can't either. Sometimes I sit on the bus and I smile a secret smile because as I look around at my fellow commuters, I know the odds are only so good that they, too, know Notary Publics. Now, not just anyone can be a Notary Public. You do have to take a test, after all, and being the blessed Future Notary Public that she is, Liz of course passed with flying colors. So Liz passed the test, and what can I say? Sure, she's mostly the same old Liz I knew back in college, but she's definitely changed, but in fairness, wouldn't you? It's hard not to let your head get kind of big, to get a little deluded by all life has to hand to you, when you're a Notary Publich. I'm really looking forward to reaping the benefits, honestly, when she comes to town. For instance, I called Spago and tried to make a reservation, and when they didn't have room for us, I said, "Oh, not even any room for a Notary Public?" Needless to say, we're going to have the best seat in the house. Liz also now travels by chaffeur and, if she doesn't have one on hand, there is always someone rushing out of the Louis Vuitton store to bring her a new tote bag (with a tiny dog inside.) Liz was at the Emmys last night, too, of course, riffling through her goodie bag while Meryl Streep gave yet another acceptance speech. At the after party, she was in a VIP room so exclusive that she was in it all by herself. I mean, there are actors and then there are Notary Publics. Some of our friends are jealous and have said things like, "Oh, Liz isn't the same person since she became a Notary Public," or "She's forgotten about the meaning of the position; she'll just notarize anything," or "She didn't even write her own autobiography." But they're all just haters. Frankly, I'm just glad to know her, to have a friend whose a Notary Public, and if you accuse me of name-dropping, well, wouldn't you?
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