August 17, 2006
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Today is to keep your eyes on the skies.
Mostly-Animal Week at Zulkey.com Continues: Book By Its Cover: Having Inter-Species Animal Lovers Under Your Roof
My bf showed me this site (and you better believe I'm going to reference a resource like this again in the future) about crazy interspecies animal friends.
At first, it looks adorable, doesn't it? My favorites are the ones involving the ducklings, the tiger and the pigs and the dog and the fish. I'm not sure why we find these instances in nature so adorable. Is it just nice to see otherwise feral beasts excercising some otherwordly gentleness and kindness? Or that it satisfies our bloodthirsty lust to see a possible chimera in the making? Who knows, but we're crazy about it. I'm sure everyone with a maternal dog or cat secretly hopes that they find their own chickadee, or squirrel, or baby mouse to coddle.
But wait! Don't encourage this! It might be cute now, but you'll be unhappy you did so when your face has been ripped off and you're smoking a cigarette, wondering if surgeons will ever find someone with a face as nice as your to transplant back onto your head.
As we've learned in "Best in Show," animals do not speak in different languages or dialects country to country. I'm assuming, then, that they probably can get the gist of what they're saying species-to-species. Otherwise, we wouldn't have the adorable friends referenced on that site--somehow, the animals understand overtures of friendship, not enmity.
So, if they can communicate, what if they get thinking? And they start talking? And they start plotting? While you're busy taking pictures and posting them to Cute Overload and you're sending in tapes to Planet's Funniest Animals, your animal 'friends' might actually be figuring out a way to combine their strengths and take over!
It probably wouldn't be occurring to you but oh, how you would weep when you realize that you're facing the raw strength of a tiger teamed with five pigs, a chihuahua and a chick, a hippopotamus and a turtle or a hamster and a snake! You will rue the day, my friend, rue the day when you're being overtaken by an animal team, that you introduced two types of animals in the spirit of cuteness and sharing.
So do yourself, and the human race, a favor. Do not encourage animals to get along together. If you own a cat and a dog, encourage hate and misunderstanding. Make sure your parakeet loathes your goldfish! It's essential, for the continuation of the human race.