A few weeks ago I was bounding down the stairs of my building (I usually take the elevator), on my way to return a Sex & the City, Season 3 DVD, and when I got to the landing above the first floor, I saw something spastically swooping back and forth between the front door and the elevator. It looked like a bat, which is totally weird, because I don't live in the country, which I imagine to be the land of bats swooping (among other things).  I live in Brooklyn.  I kind of thought I could make a break for the front door but that bat was intense and then I really thought no way in hell.  

I stood, frozen, when a guy, a man, entered the building.  "Um, that's a bat, right?"  

"Yup," he said.

Cool.  Well, sort of cool, but really not cool at all.  I just wanted some bat-confirmation.  I didn't want to be that hysterical, easily-excitable, over-reactive girl calling to complain to the Super only to hear, "Jen, that's a sparrow."

I waited.  Surely the guy, the man, would take care of things.  After a few moments, this was me:  "Um, hello?"  and this was him:  Gone.

I went back up to my apartment.  I called a girl who lives in the building.  She would know what to do.  She owns a step-ladder.  But I got her voicemail.  I called a guy who lives in the building who also seemed into home-repair.  He was at a pizza place nearby and said he would leave and be right there to check out the scene/bat.  I called the video store and requested that they not charge me a late fee as I wanted to return their DVD, I was trying to return their DVD, I was just being held hostage in my apartment by a spastic bat.  "Maybe you could like, put a note in your system?" I suggested.  "Like, 'waive fee re: bat?'"

When the home-improvement guy got home, there was no bat.  I never heard what happened to it - did it fly out the way it had come in?  Did someone trap it, and then set it free?   I half-suspected I would see a little bat-chalk outline and police tape, but that didn't happen either.  And most certainly, as I was cowering in my apartment, I did not get to be the building hero.

What did happen is, I didn't have to pay a late fee for Sex & the City when I returned it to the video store the next day, and I felt a sort of knowing camaraderie with the guy working behind the counter re: bat.  By the way, if you are looking for an excuse to get out of your video store late fee, this might not be a bad one to try.