June 6, 2006
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Today is the day to put on your red suit and grab your pitchfork.
Chicagoans, looking for something to do on Thursday? Go check out the wonderful Kevin Guilfoile, who will be making one of his last appearances for his very popular book Cast of Shadows. He'll be be giving a talk and signing at the Webster Place Barnes and Noble at the corner of Webster and Clybourn in Chicago, Thursday night at 7:30 PM. You should go, you won't be sorry (and if you do go, tell him I sent you.)
Last week I flew to Washington DC after a very stressful week. Unfortunately, airports tend to stress me out as well. I don't like flying, people are walking in your way constantly, there are lines, delays, the constant beep beep beep beep beep of those old-people-driving trolleys, and, this time, a pair of obese parents eating MacDonald's while they kept their child tethered on a leash.
So I was looking forward to getting on the plane and reading my GQ for a few hours in quiet. However, I was sitting in front of two guys who had never met each other before, but filled the entire flight with discussion. Well, maybe not discussion. I'd say "chitchat" and "small talk," but does the definition hold up if you keep it up for two and a half hours? They might as well have not been talking at all, because the same amount of information was exchanged. I began keeping a list of what they were talking about about halfway through the flight (because they both also happened to have loud voices):
States I Haven't Been To
Traffic
Bad Flying Stories
Rolling Rock Beer (including a verbatim recollection of its commercials)
Airlines (Especially Frontier)
Jagermeister
How Nice it Is to Sleep On the Road Without the Wife and Kids
Drinking Games
Baseball
Hockey
"I'm Really Not Looking Forward to This Drive"
The Paperwork Involved in Marrying a Canadian
PF Chang's and Outback Steakhouse (for whom one of them worked)
Frats
College Parties
"This $1000 Plane Ticket"
Being Tired
Smoking Bans/Smoking
Being Addicted to Smoking
Tipping a Lot vs A Little
Abercrombie and Fitch
Going to the Manager's Reception at Embassy Suites
"I'm Really Not Looking Forward to This Drive" (again)
Where It's Raining (DC) and Where It's Not (Virginia), According To Their Wives
And after the flight, as if on cue, they introduced themselves and left the plane.