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May 11, 2006
permanent link

Today is the day to put your pajamas back on.

Hey Chicagoans: Come to mini-Ha Ha!

Also: a writey kind of interview with me here, if you're interested.

Book By Its Cover Review: Being David Blaine's Girlfriend

Oh honey. I'm so glad you're OK. Did you break the record for holding your breath underwater? Umm...yeah, sure! Yes, you did. We're very proud of you. It was very important that you did that. How long are you going to be on this morphine drip? Oh, okay. Yeah, you were totally underwater for like, 15, 20, 45 minutes. You're a hero!

Yes, everyone was very impressed with the fishbowl trick. Nobody could believe how wrinkly you were! That was utterly magical.

No, Leonardo DiCaprio hasn't come back.

Was anybody making fun of you while you were in the fishbowl? No, of course not! We were all too blown away by the feat. And also, that "no-making-fun" spell you cast on the media.

What? Do I think this stunt was more impressive than you being buried underground or you being frozen in ice? Of course! Because this one was more liquid, you know? And only you can carry that off. I don't know if you'll ever top sitting on top of that pole, though. That was so unique.

Yeah, I guess you're right. "Drowned Alive" is sort of redundant. OK, we'll fire your copywriter once we get out of here.

I wouldn't worry yet about what you're going to do next. Let's wait for your fingers to unshrivel first. Maybe you can participate in a hot dog eating contest? Or, like, walk really far? We'll see. I know you need to get your magical abilities back first.

You want to do what in the fish bowl? Let's talk about this when you get home.

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