April 12, 2007
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Today is the day to get that damn cat hair off your clothes.
There is literally only ONE T-SHIRT LEFT! Buy it now!
I heard on NPR this morning that the South Carolina legislature is trying to pass a bill that requires women seeking an abortion to view an ultrasound of their baby before undergoing the procedure, and, IF they do go through with it, must indicate that they viewed said ultrasound. I think this is a great idea, but personally, I felt that the people who drafted up the bill didn't go far enough. Where's the imagination and persuasion? I have some other suggestions for them to tack on to the proposal:
• Only magazines like "Child" and "Parenting" should be allowed in the waiting rooms of South Carolina abortion clinics, with mandatory quizzes provided at the end of each magazine ensuring that women have read and understood the articles • While the woman in question is on the table getting counseling, a nurse must drape adorable baby clothes over the abdomen of the patient and take a Polaroid photo of the patient in question, who must then sign the Polaroids, indicating that she has seen them. • While the woman is viewing the ultrasound, a nurse will suggest possible baby names. The woman must fill out a form indicating her preference for each name. • Soothing muzac of little children singing "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" should play in the procedure rooms, over a charming background noise of babies sobbing. The patient must be able to sing back the song to the practitioner without crying before the procedure is performed. • If the woman indicates after these measures that she wants to go through with the procedure, she will be handed a live human baby and will be forced to hold it for no less than a half an hour. Once the half hour is up, she will be handed a form with said baby's photo on it, placing an "x" over the baby's face to indicate that she wants to move forward with the operation. • If the woman does go through with the procedure, she will be given a t-shirt featuring a print of the ultraound that she viewed, and she must wear the t-shirt home from the clinic. Now that's an abortion bill!Advertisements:
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