April 9, 2007
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Today is the day to put down the Peep.
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FAQ's for Those In the Market for Miniature Horse Shoes
Q: Why does my miniature horse need shoes?
A: Just like your feet, miniature horse feet need protection from hot or cold sidewalks. And just like you, miniature horses feel weird walking around barefoot, like they're hippies or something.
Q: Does my miniature horse need socks, too?
A: Don't be ridiculous.
Q: Will my miniature horse need to remove his shoes at the airport when going through security?
A: Yes, of course. What, do you think your miniature horse is special, or something?
Q: My miniature horse is very athletic and feels like he needs some ankle support when he plays basketball. What can you offer?
A: Boo ya!
Q: My miniature horse moonlights as a cowboy--it's really quite impressive, he rides a much bigger horse and everything. Anyway what I want to know is, do you have cowboy boots for miniature horses?
A: You bet your sweet tits we do!
Q: I felt that was inappropriate. But thank you for letting me know.
A: You're welcome!
Q: My miniature horse has recently won an award that recognizes her achievements in the field of philanthropy. The ceremony, however, is black tie optional. Do you have something a little more formal?
A: Yes, we do, although honestly, doesn't your horse feel that these kind of ceremonies just waste money that could be used to contribute to her cause? Whatever.
Q: Thank you! But now my miniature horse is going to look sexier than me.
A: Seriously!
Q: I was joking.
A: Well, we weren't.
Q: Can the shoes fit a unicorn?
A: In short, maybe. Unicorns are not known to actually exist but we never want to say never.
Q: What about goats?
It depends on the goat--some goats, unfortunately, really cannot 'pull off' a formal shoe.
Q: How about my child?
A: We recommend purchasing human shoes for your human child.
Q: What if I can't afford them?
A: We recommend seeing a financial advisor if you're in a situation where you can afford a miniature horse and miniature horse shoes but not human baby shoes.
Q: Oh, one more thing: do you have sandals for my miniature horse?
A: It's really not the season yet. We're sorry.
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