March
3 , 2004
permanent
link
Today
is the day to prepare for Super Thursday.
ORDER
MY BOOK!
Rank: Best Things About Giving Blood That Don't Help Anybody
But Yourself
- Being pricked twice: For those of you who haven't given blood before,
you actually need to be bled twice in one day. Once in the finger to test
your blood iron level, and then once in the arm for the actual bloodletting.
This double poking shows that you are truly hardcore. Downside: Ow.
- Scary quiz: "Have you ever had sex in prison?" "Have you
ever had sex for drugs?" Blood donation sources need to ask you these
kind of questions before letting you give blood. As you answer, you realize
that you're actually a pretty good, law abiding person after all. Downside:
The curveball "Have you felt ill in the last three weeks." Who
hasn't?
- Comfy Chair: Once you actually are settled up and ready to donate, you
get to sit in this really nice, raised recliner with big arm rests. Sort
of like a cross between a throne and a La-Z-Boy. Downside: Try not to think
about whether people have bled all over it.
- Indulging in movies/magazines: You're giving blood! Of course you need
to kick back and relax, so now is the time to partake, without guilt, of
the old magazines or crummy videos the center provides. Downside: One time
the center was showing "In and Out" and that was awful.
- Cool track marks: If you've been poked enough, you can show a smattering
of light holes on the inside of your elbow. Not enough to get anyone's attention
but were someone to look closely, you'd look pretty tough. Downside: Be
careful just to admire them in private. You look weird if you're staring
too closely at your arm in public.
- Cookies and Juice: Blood donation centers are awesome for providing the
best treats ever: Oreos, animal crackers, pretzels, popcorn. And since you've
donated blood, you have to eat. Downside: You may ending up eating
and weighing more then the pint they've taken out of you.
- Getting praised even when you can't do what you're supposed to. If you're
like me, you get turned away a lot for low iron. Even still, people congratulate
you, sometimes even give you a sticker, just for coming in, so you don't
feel too bad. Downside: You feel kind of guilty taking the cookies.
Go shopping.
