February 28, 2006
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Today is the day to stuff your big fat face, you fat freak.
Mrs. Zulkey.com, my advice columnist, is my Mom, who really enjoys trying to help solve your problems, whatever they may be, for some reason. Email her directly here.
Fabulousity: How to Get It
By looking under stones in the forest with a special fabulousity-sniffing pig By wishing very very hard By having sex with famous people By recovering Princess Zelda from Ganon's clutches At some ethnic and specialty grocery stores By buying me this one thing, just this time, and I swear I'll never ask you again, please please please I love you By wearing my new designer perfume, which is available for $12.99 at select J.C. Penney Stores By not washing your hands It's only available in Europe, at some store, I can't remember the name, don't even bother looking for it.