February 1, 2006
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Rabbit rabbit
Read the latest installment on Kelly Mulvaney here from ElleGirl (sorry for bad scanning.)
Dear Mrs. Zulkey.com on Friends
Dear Mrs. Zulkey.com: Do you believe it's natural, as one grows older, to start to lose friends and acquaintances until you're down to just a few good ones? And if so: how do you deal with the resulting pain and loneliness, as people pair off and go their separate ways and you are left all alone?
Having a bad day, are we? Sounds like it. Splash a little cold
water on your face, brush your hair, get out of those pj's. It's not as bad
as all that.
As we get older, we differentiate our acquaintances - those with whom we establish
temporary relationships, either through work, school, charitable activities
- from our true friends. We always have acquaintances, but we know who they
are. They pass through our lives based on some particular dedication or interest.
At any given moment, we share an opinion of the boss, we study for the same
exam, we decorate the gym together. But, as time moves on, so do we. Those
brushes with commonality, at some time or another, no longer apply.
But our friends, yes, that's different. Who can define it? We touch each other
at the right moment, or the right places, but it's more of a continuum. Through
time, we can pick up where we left off. Most likely, we can anticipate their
reaction to our problems, our happiness, our sorrows. And the miraculous thing
is that it's mutual. We're extremely fortunate to have one, or perhaps two,
of these people in our lives. Value them. But don't discount the possibility
that the future might hold others. Be open to them.
Mrs. Zulkey
If you have a question requesting advice from my mother (aka my advice columnist, Dear Mrs. Zulkey.com) email it here.