January 31, 2005
permanent
link
Today is the day to honor
the old coaches.
January is about over, but winter still has a few months for
us, at least here in the Midwest. Thus I present you:
Some Very Bad Tips for Staying Warm This Winter
- I know all the kids are saying that staying warm is 'so 2004,' but you
just have to ignore tham and follow your own heart.
- A good way to stay warm if you don't have a radiator is to let a light
bulb heat up in the socket for a few hours, unscrew it and then put it in
your pants.
- Let Calgon take you away. To Jamaica.
- Lay in a coffin filled with furiously busy hamsters.
- Dress nicely and sleep in a heated doorway. You're less likely to be kicked
out if the police think you're a business man who just got tired rather
than an actual homeless person.
- If you can't find shelter, get a lot of exercise, which will heat you
up. When you cool down again, do another lap around the block. Keep doing
this until spring.
- Check out Britney Spears' latest music video because it is hot.
- Book a trip to the sun, which is warm this time of year.
- Catch Illini basketball fever!
Read
Diary Archives
Advertisement:
Buy tickets for Yankees, Red Sox, football, World Series from a leading ticket
broker.
Chicago Cubs Tickets
Boston Red Sox Tickets
New York Yankees Tickets
World Series Tickets
MLB Playoff Tickets
