January 13, 2005
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Today is the day to make sure you speak up in class.
Pull out your mission statement and set yourself some goals and objectives: email me the stupid office-isms you have to deal with.
Today I continue my series where I opine on things I don't really know much about.Book By Its Cover Review: The 2005 Yankees
While I am known far and wide across the land as a baseball fan, one thing I do not know much about are trades. I don’t really understand contracts, deadlines, free agency, broken promises, broken hearts, all the things that are involved.
Here is what I do know, however. The New York Yankees, loved by many, possibly hated by more, has acquired Randy Johnson, one of the best pitchers in Major League Baseball. Last year, as you may know, the Yankees acquired star Alex Rodriguez and before that, slugger Jason Giambi. What have the Yankees learned about poaching star players from other teams? Apparently nothing. I know, I know. Every team snaps up good players as much as they can, and the Yankees are just doing what all the other teams do. Except on a much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much higher payroll. This is why people get a little bitter sometimes. Here is the rub, though. The Yankees haven’t won a World Series in five years. Which has got people like George Steinbrenner pretty upset, and I totally sympathize, because my Chicago White Sox haven’t won one since 1917. Anyway, here is my completely unproven, totally unscientific theory. The Yankee organization continues to struggle the only way it knows how: by buying fancy players (and by playing well, but who cares.) The flashier the players they buy, the farther they drift from their last title. Obviously, in order to bounce back, the Yankees need to hit a serious slump. A serious, laughable, nobody-going-to-the game-except-maybe-homeless-people-who-want-to-take-a-nap under-the-roof slump. They’ll be forced to stop buying the star players, forced to cut payroll, forced to eat humble pie. Eat it! Ha ha. Anyway, only then, once everyone has given up on the poor little Yankees and they have assembled the most rag-tag bunch of misfits eye has ever seen, can they recoup. Nobody will believe it, it’ll be a completely heartbreaking tale of baseball skill, and there will be some orphan children in there somewhere, but it will be a feat of will and spunk, not of money. It’s like a fable, or something. On the other hand, more steroids might help too.
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