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May 18, 2009
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What Did Happen

They installed new elevators at my office building, finally: the kind where you enter into a keypad which floor you're going to and it tells you which elevator to use and then it whisks you there. Some hapless lady who didn't feel like listening to the security guard's instructions got on my elevator, looked panicked, and then got off.

What I Wish Happened

The doors had closed and she said to me, "Where are we going?" and I said "TO HELL".

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