Oh, we see how it is, Myanmar. You're too good for our help? We're flying supplies halfway across the world and not only do we have to get permission from your junta to help, we can't even get a meeting to get permission? WTF?

You're willing to let one boatload of supplies through. Oh thank you. Don't do us any favors, OK? There are plenty of other countries who would love to get our help, who have benefited from it. Did you watch "Idol Gives Back"? Did you see the special after the tsunami? Just don't talk to Iraq, OK? Because things got complicated there.

Don't you see we're trying to help you? Unless, of course, you LIKE ponds full of dead bodies, contaminated water and a shortage of food. Is that how you do things there?

We see how it is. Your stupid junta wants to take the aid and distribute it and pretend that it came from them, huh? Well tell them "Nice try," because we've already seen that "Seinfeld" episode with the big salad, and we are no George Castanza.

We don't get what's up with your stupid government, or should we say "government." This isn't some sort of contest for your affections. We hear about these crazy ads they're running to get you to vote to give them more control. We think that's messed-up, but we don't care--we don't need another country to reflect back to us how cool we are. I think we've proven that time and time again.

Seriously, get over yourself, all right?

PS You know we all still call you Burma behind your back, right?