Tips for Beating the Heat
Occasionally text and email elderly acquaintances "U ok?"
If you work at a historical reenactment site, inform supervisors that 18th century blacksmiths did in fact wear shorts
If you're homeless, consider becoming not
Practice random acts of kindness; shoot strangers icy glares whenever possible
Think about this summer's coolest TV shows, like "The Singing Bee"
Move out of Phoenix, unless the thought of making fun of chillier eastern cities in the winter is so enjoyable the heat stroke is barely noticeable
Read In Cold Blood (that is, fill your bathtub with ice, grab your favorite bodice-ripper and enjoy!)
Ice cream pants